Let’s Chat: ideas to beat loneliness

Let’s chat: ideas to beat loneliness and get local people talking

Sharing our learning from the Let’s Chat project with ideas to beat loneliness and get local people chatting. We found writing questions on big bits of woods helped inspire chat. Try it and see if it works for your cafe, open air event, get together, social or whatever – it’s especially powerful for conversation flow if it encourages participants to share stories about the local area.

Between April-June 2022 Islington Faces (a small local charity that has published more than 350 interviews with people who live or work in Islington) ran regular chat tables in N4. We held these mostly at a café and a community centre, both on Blackstock Road. We also hosted a pop up at a Jubilee street party (in a gazebo!) and in N1 at the Estorick Gallery’s garden. We did this to learn what helps people have a good chat and share their stories. In total we involved 57 people at eight events. We hope the ideas shared here will inspire businesses, voluntary organisations and networkers to set up your own one-off or regular local chat table helping people connect with neighbours and beat loneliness. Let us know if they do.

Our top tip is simply to write an “open” question about the local area as that’s such a good way to get chat going.

Yes, talking is good for your wellbeing, but all the people at a chat table are there to have a cuppa in company, as well as talk and/or listen. There’s a big difference between someone talking about their distresses and an absorbing conversation. For mental health difficulties you might need to listen in a deeper way (and not chat), see the advice on www.mentalhealth.org.uk

Now we need your help – share and try out these ideas! You can download our 5-page simple DIY guide to beating loneliness and getting local people talking here. If you want a print version please let Nicola know on islingtonfaces@gmail.com

What to talk about

Aim for a happy chat. Lots of people having a rough time are repeatedly asked about painful things for surveys/feedback. It’s really nice to have a more general chat.

Talk about what you have in common: place. Our questions included:

·       Q: What’s your favourite place in Islington?

·       Q: What’s your best memory in Islington?

·       Q: What’s your favourite local landmark?

We found lots of people want to talk about art, so we made a new question:

• Q: Do you like art? Everyone loved sharing their answers to this, and it made good listening too.

A chat tent at a street party is a great opportunity to share stories about the area.  It would probably work well at a play street too – a nice opportunity to get hold and young talking.

We wrote our trigger questions to get chat started on big bits of wood, but you could do a lucky dip by writing questions on lolly sticks jumbled in an empty tin. Or try writing Qs and themes on paper tablecloths!

We found people liked to think about their answers, and that often stopped the chat for a bit. You could broaden it out and ask for people’s five favourite places – just like on www.islingtonfacesblog.com

Avoid contentious topics including NextDoor favourites (low traffic neighbourhoods and stolen stuff). Your aim is for people to chat and connect. Find what we have in common with each other so you can avoid political fallouts.

Let’s chat recommendations

• Our guests already had places to meet in the daytime including lunch clubs, Zuma and exercise classes. People said sometimes they would like to just chat rather than busy doing stuff, but basically still in their own head space feeling lonely. So, give time to talk after the activity, that might be the best bit of the day for some people.
• People were keen to talk! A chat table or chat space to chat with strangers after a show (eg, ballet, theatre, art) would be popular.
• We found our guests using posters in local shops, messages on NextDoor and Facebook, but word of mouth and personal invites are the best.
• Noticeboards and posters are good reminders for the date/time but don’t give the same confidence as a personal invite.
• Team up with local religious networks as churches and mosques often have tea groups. You could try a pop up or collaboration or offer to host a pop-up.
• Several of you wanted chat tables in the early evening (maybe another reason why book groups are so popular). Nights can seem long if you feel lonely.This project was funded by Islington Council’s Community Chest. It was delayed by the pandemic – so another lesson learnt was to try to keep everyone safer from covid by holding your chat sessions outside, or inside with open windows and doors. The host can organise seating so that the people with a coat or a jumper sit nearest the fresh air.

 

Thank you & here’s to chat tables springing up

Islington Faces would like to thank all the people who’ve helped us collect these ideas, especially our chat table guests, volunteer hosts and partners including the Blackstock Kitchen, Elizabeth House Community Centre, Estorick Collection of Modern Italian Art and random responders at a food bank and on Islington Green.

We are excited that the idea of getting a chat started by using questions about the local area, written on a large piece of wood, have already been successfully copied at a street party in West Norwood and a village get-together in north Yorkshire. We hope it can be useful for anyone, as a chat table is very easy to run and brings people together. Life feels a bit less lonely if a stranger becomes a friendly neighbour, who you can wave hello to, or even stop to have a chat with.

If you’d like to share your life story, or know someone with a story to tell, please contact Nicola by email on islingtonfaces@gmail.com OR just hop on to www.islingtonfacesblog.com and enjoy reading the interviews where everyone has a story.

• Photos by Kimi Gill, Fadz Ali & Islington Faces. Published June 2022.
• With thanks to Islington Council’s Community Chest for funding support.
• Big thanks for collabs with Blackstock Kitchen, Elizabeth House, Estorick Art Gallery and the pop-up street party in Monsell Road, N4

 

Our chatters feedback

At Elizabeth House people asked “What’s your favourite place in Islington?” said:

• Union Chapel – for the place and all its services.
• Union Chapel – I’ve sung there!
• Islington High Street shops with its high pavement.
• Highbury Fields on a sunny day.
• Oasis café at Highbury Fields
• I don’t go out much, I’ve been having panic attacks but my neighbour has a beautiful magnolia tree which makes me happy. I also love seeing snowdrops and jasmine.
• Clissold Park and Gillespie Park are good places to go with my baby.
• The old Astoria in Finsbury Park. I saw David Bowie play there. A few years ago I went into the church and they still have the goldfish fountain!

 

Our chatters advice

Ivor, 75: “Best way to get a conversation going with a neighbour? A simple ‘Hello, good morning!’”

Anne, 80+ “Best way to get a conversation going? The weather is a reliable choice, especially anything unusual!”

Rachel: “Best way to get a conversation going? Try and learn your neighbours’ names early on, and make sure they know yours, then it’s easy to say hello and use their name.”

Del, 50+: “Best way of getting to know a neighbour? Have a good laugh!”

Hani: “Best way of getting a conversation going with a neighbour? A get together.”

Eleni, 54: “Best way of getting a conversation going with a neighbour? See if they are ok.”

Ursula, 60+: “What’s the best way of getting a conversation going with a neighbour? Talk about dog/weather/children.”